Staring myself down

I have nothing inspiring or creative to say – but when I read this on a friend’s Facebook page – I had to pass it on.  I have no idea who’s credits should go to the graphic or exact words – so whoever you are – forgive me.  No malice intended!  I was encouraged and ready to move on towards tomorrow via this note.

I was sitting in bed – ready to head off to sleep – but my body is making me nuts.  It’s moving and twitching, and I have nothing to show a doctor but my words.  I can not make myself do this on command, and even if I did, unless it would be a sweeping large movement, how would I show them?  The thing annoying me most is that it floats around my body, never telling me where it’s moving to next.  How do you show THAT to a neurologist?

But this is all beside the point.  The reason I tacked on a few minutes of my day here on the blog is just to say – I DONT HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER – NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!  And for that, I am thankful.

What?  “THANKFUL,” you mumble aloud?

Yes.  Thankful.  Because if I actually believed I was in control of anything – I’d fail and fall flat on my face.  But am I down and out of the game?  Heck NO.  I’ve only begun.

So, TAKE THAT, you sniveling beast of a shadow, who dares to lurk in the corners of my mind… and think you can make me crumble in upon myself and give in to the lie.  Which lie? The lie that I can’t bounce back or still be ME, no matter what jerky or crappy things plague me.

Yeah – I’m still here… and I’m not goin anywhere.  I’m just stubborn enough to make it too.  Watch me (she says with a set chin and satisfied nod of the head.)

No one expects me to crumble in my life… but the “everyone” in this little note I saw is ME.  I am my own worst enemy – and I am always waiting for me to stumble so I can point my finger in my face and say, “SEE – I knew it!  You can’t (fill in the blank here)”. I don’t just wait for me to mess up on one thing – and give myself a pass on the rest of life – oh no… it’s for every single thing.  No mercy.

So this time I turned and said NO.  “Dont you dare.”  You cant have my confidence and you dont own me.

Now… what’s in your shadow, lurking?  I dare you to turn and face it.

Trust me.  It’s not nearly as strong when you turn the light on and stare it down… than when you let it hide in the darkness.