Doin the “NO PAIN” Dance of joy!

Have you ever been so happy you felt like dancing?  Whenever I get giddy and so happy I am overjoyed, I want to do a little jig.  And to be frank, if it’s just me and the kids, I DO that crazy little dance!

Do you remember the sitcom Perfect Strangers from the 80’s?  It was an odd little show I liked to watch that was mostly silliness about two cousins thrown together from different sides of the world.  One often taught the other to simply see life from a fresh perspective, and more times than not, to celebrate the joys.  Balki always did the “dance of Joy” when he was happy.  It always made me smile.

I have a lot of reasons to do that dance of joy right now…  I am not sure all that is involved in the actuality of this end result, but i have counted a whole 6 out of 7 days that were what I consider PAIN FREE!  That’s right!  Only one migraine in that week, and the other days were without pain!  I have not been able to say that for 2 years!

There have been lots of contributing factors, including new medicine changes, cervical spine injections, and mild weather… but no matter what the “reasons” for the pain free days are – the fact is I’ve had some amazing days, and all I care about is rejoicing and saying Whoopie!!    God’s heard me, the prayers of so many others, and He’s begun to reveal Himself in all of this.

I am not a patient person – so this wait has seemed insanely long.  But I have such hope and encouragement to see this result.  I’ve decided that from now on, I will still log the doctor’s requested pain log – but on my calendar I look at daily, it’s gonna have big smiley faces on all my GOOD days, so at a glance I can see the awesome days of blessings.  My hope is that there will be more smiles in my month than not.  I may even have a lapse of time where they are farther between – but I can see the light – and that it IS possible to have stretches of time where I feel like ME again!

So yippeeeee!  Happy Happy Joy Joy!

May God bless you in such a way as you can SEE His hand at work in your life.  It’s always there, I promise.


Handmade love

I know that Valentine’s day is not cherished by all.  It can be a hard holiday.  I also know that, these days, it is a guilted holiday for many who feel obligated to buy up enough of the cliche goods and put out enough money to make sure a fellow loved one feels they are in a treasured spot.  It’s not about $$.  Hate to break it to those folks.

Me?  Want to know what I want most from MY sweetie, my “Valentine”?  Just some time.  Maybe a stolen nap during the day while the kids are at school, I’d love that.  All curled up under a fuzzy throw, his arms around me as I lazily do no chores and just soak in the blessing that is just HIM having been my husband for 15 years now.  It’s enough.  I do that on lazy Sunday afternoons and it’s honestly one of my most favorite and treasured times of the whole week.

I LOVE Valentine’s Day.  I love those crayon hearts and doily cut outs.  It makes my heart sing to see the joy on my kid’s faces when they show off their creations that express what someone means to them.

Case in point?  This is my grandma.  She’s super special, and I have a cherished relationship where I get to go each Wednesday and have lunch with her and curl up in the living room and we chat while we watch some insane home makeovers on HGTV before I head back home to my kiddos.  There’s no card that says how much all that means to me.  There’s no way to truly purchase something to tell her that… so we made a surprised visit today to see her and bring her a hug from her Great Grandkids and some homemade love gifts.

You cant get better than homemade love and hugs… (But a side of York Peppermint Patties didn’t hurt 🙂  hee hee)

Happy Valentines Day – and may you feel loved simply because you ARE!

Blessings,  CC-

An Only Child

A few months back there was a weekend where my son was left home by his sisters to be an only child.  They went off to do some girlie things, and he was home with two parents all to himself.  He chattered on and had our complete attention anytime he desired.  He sported a constant grin and his chatter was a continuous stream.

My son seemed to grow a little taller in all the glow of our attention. Since I have never had just one child (well, not for very long as our girls are only 18 months apart) and I was the oldest of two kids… I’ve only imagined what it would be like to be an only child, or to just have one to look after.

Around here, I am often given over to the pull of 3 kids all repeating what happened in their day at school in a rapid fire retell; my mind spinning with who had said what, who’s turn it is to talk next, and wonder if I will retaining any of it when it counts.  I hear all to often, “but I DID tell you about such and such, just an hour ago.”  It can be a zoo at our house.

Now why do I say all this, and where the heck am I going with this long string of thoughts?  Hang on – there really is a point.

As Drake was sitting front and center that weekend, my mind continually wandered.  I thought about my own talkativeness and the way I chatter on and on, telling about my day, fretting aloud about stresses, finances, the kids, parenting, things I am amazed by, thankful for, worried about, excited or even terrified of.  I talk as if I am an only child.  I talk as if I have no one to compete with, and have the full attention of the one who’s listening.  And most often, there is no one in the room but me.  Oh I dont always speak aloud, though my husband would beg to differ, but my mind never shuts down for long.  I am like my son that weekend, a chatterbox.

You probably know where I am going with this now.  When we pray, God sees us as the only one in the room.  His only child in the backseat of the car of life.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says to, “pray continually,” or, “pray without ceasing.”  This doesn’t mean to be on our literal knees and in constant formal prayer… but it is a frame of mind, a way to walk through life, a spirit of prayer, where we are in constant communication with our Heavenly Father.  We tell him about our day, we lift up our friends, family, worries, joys, concerns and blessings.  We are to talk to him as if we are chattering to our best friend, or in my son’s case, our parent who is fully attentive to us.

You will never have to fight for your turn to talk with God.  He is always ready to hear what  you have to say, and it is always more important than anything else to him.  The mind boggling thing is that with all the people in this world, all the problems and all the tasks he must have in this universe, He still has time for us, one on one, anytime we open our hearts and minds.

And better yet?  It’s His deepest desire to be in constant relationship with us like this.  It’s what gives Him the most pleasure.  His ears will never tire of hearing his precious children chatter on about whatever is on their minds.

The next time you are thinking to yourself, try aiming at God instead.  I’ve found that it’s much more satisfying to talk to someone than to no one, and He has MUCH better answers than I can ever give myself.  He is ready and waiting.  Tell Him HI !

Published in the Mount Zion UMC and Barkers Chapel UMC Newsletters for February 2012 

If the shoe fits – then you gotta claim the crazy prize

I am not at the keyboard much these days.  I pretend it is because I am far too busy to have time to sit and pound out mundane notions for you to read here.  And by that very statement, it is assumed there are readers acutally out there who have a mind to hear what I have to say.  It’s always random postings, and most certianly about some recent self absorbed finding that I feel the need to shout out to all the world.

Truthfully and honestly, I’ll do you a favor in warning you, now, that this is most certainly going to be one of those “skippable” blogs this time around.  Feel free to click on out at any time, as I am rambling already.  You’ll miss nothing spectacular.  I promise.  To be truthful yet again, this post may not even make sense… I’m a tad foggy and just free-writing here.

You’re still reading?  Well, you were warned.

When it comes right down to it these days… I’m not feeling witty, interesting, or even crazy enough to attempt to say sophisticated things that may lead other’s to believe I have my act together.  I am frustratingly confused about a lot of things, up to my neck in papers that need tied up with fancy signatures and others that want my last drop of blood as a bonded oath to give them my last dime or substitute a living child that may pass collateral…  it’s possible.

But I digress,

I found a drawing laying on the desk the other day after my son had gone off to school.  What drew me in was that the image truly had caught my “in the moment” moment of insanity. I was feeling more than crazy, yet it was drawn long before I began to feel so desperate and overwehlmed.  His drawing drew me back and made me stop and just think.  It brought me back to today’s adjenda and I oddly felt ready for the day after seeing his comical rendition.

Crazy Mom - any day of the week

What I loved about this was that I truly felt like I was frazzled, had given in to the pull of 3 kids all repeating what happened in their day at school in a rapid fire retell and my mind was spinning with who had said what, who’s turn to talk was next, and if I was retaining any of it at all…  I knew they’d say soon, “but I DID tell you about such and such, just an hour ago when I got home.”

There are so many time I feel like I am watching my life play out vs participating in it.  I am not sure if that is because I am just so overwhelmed, or because of the crazy number of new trial vs error medicines they are jumping onto and off of, or just ditching altogether now. Every month I am either weaning onto something new, gradually weaning off of something that didn’t cut the mustard, and messing around with the timings of the ones that seem to be “keeper’ meds.  In other words , they are the ones that haven’t yet caused any problems, so they just keep those going for now. By now I am as confused about what I take or don’t take on any given weekday I want to just give up and throw them all out the window.  It’s complicated and my brain only does remedial math…   Again, I digress…

While I am nutty, the kids find me silly and laughable.  That is good in the short term, as long as I don’t embarrass them in front of friends, mind you.  But in the long term, the thing is, I don’t want to be silly.  I want to be sincere and quietly participating in life.  I long to make sense in everything I say and do… for the first impression of me to be a good one, where things are about what I’m up to, not how I am doing or feeling… and If it’s really ME talking or if I will remember anything said or done tomorrow.

Does anyone remember a day when Christi was loopy, high on giggles and life, and more worried about where the next chocolate and girls-night-out splurge was going to happen?  Now, I move in a pathetic slow step, cringing as i look into the next day to see if it will be normal, or filled with untold headaches, migraines, and stupid ass issues that strip me of who I am – once was – will I ever be again?

So give me my drawing  back.  It’s posted on my fridge proudly, and reminds me to choose daily to let it all just slip away… from the insanity of reality… and  to act as my pass to the other side of the coin.  I will choose to flip it till it comes up heads, so I can get my silly self on with giggling and laughing, and sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by my kids.

I cant fix it all – but I can allow myself to be surrounded by what matters – those said kids, tight hugs, sloppy kisses (from the dog), tickle fights, laying in bed long after lights out… hearing the hearts of my girls as they grow into young women, and of my son as he learns to be a warrior after God’s own Heart.

The next time you are in a boring rut – make sure you look around you and maybe have someone draw you the most insane portrait of you they can… dont be offended by it, but instead be freed by it’s inspiration.  Be free to be you!  No one does YOU better than you do!

Giggle a little when it’s least appropriate – and let the rise it get’s you a head start on the underdog style push needed to accomplish your goals.

Common – you got unconventional and witty in you somewhere!  I know it!