This week has been one of firsts – lots and lots of firsts. Some for the kids, some for me, some as a parent, and some as a human soul feeling lost and broken… Some I feel comfortable sharing, but frankly many of which I dont. But the point is not the specifics. The point is the outcome of it all.
I forget so much of the time that before my feet even hit the floor in the morning God has already been ahead of me; clearing paths, moving stones, opening doors, building steps, and stretching out His arms long and strong to hold me up lest I fall along the way. He wants me to succeed. He really does.
This week, as I took floundering steps, like a toddler wobbling on shaky legs of faith, I realized something I never had before. I really don’t have a single thing in life figured out. Not a darned thing. Oh I think I know a lot. I think I have memory verses for situations at the ready, know information to fall back on, have the right things to say at the right moments when life gets tough, even thought I was a bit of a tough chick and could handle what life threw at me. Yeah, quit laughing. I actually thought that I could handle it. When it comes right down to the rug getting pulled out from under you… it takes a lot more to get back on your feet than just those little things you THINK you know. It takes WHO you know to get you back on your feet and moving again.
This week I saw myself as God saw me. I sorta felt shy and little. I saw just how hurt God must feel when he looks down and sees the muddled mess we make of things sometimes when it could be so much easier. I know the pain His heart must feel when He has carved out a beautiful path for us and we choose to willingly go the other way. I saw how frustrating it must be to see the amazing creation he hand crafted look at themselves and only see the ugly imperfections and never see the strengths and the awesome gifts so carefully created. My heart cried to see His pain as I felt my own pain watching life play out before me this week. Lesson after lesson flowed over me and while I long to detail them I simply say thank you to God for giving them to me. He knows them and needs not for me to list them.
But what I ask of you my dear friends is this: Get over yourself!
Quit critiquing every last thing you say, do, or wear. Simply be who you were created to be, stay true to yourself, keep God as your focus always, and the rest will fall into place. It’s all that really matters anyway. The rest is just noise in life. Truly. It’s just noise.