I had it all planned out

Never plan stuff out.  Just sayin.  It’s the surest way to have those plans messed up.

I planned to take the summer (in a leisurely fashion) to tackle the house room by room, de-cluttering and stripping us back to “sparse” and clean.  I was gonna actually get us organized –  not just the impression of clean.  I wanted to ACTUALLY be clean.  I do this for all my clients each year.  I never get around to it for me.  I always come last – but that’s the way it always goes doesn’t it?

But now?  Now it’s like an evil joke.  And as nutty as it sounds, I am obsessed with getting that goal complete before going under for surgery.  No matter what.  Call it what you want, distraction, obsession, denial; I just cant go through recovery with all this huge TO DO list staring at me.  I will look around at all the things that I need/want to get done and it will drive me out of my ever lovin mind.

So since I am off work I am refocusing on myself, for once in my life.  I am gonna take it room by room.  Each will be dug into as if we were moving.  When I was a kid we moved on average every 2-4 years.  When we moved we would make, “If in doubt, throw it out,” our moto.  It’s been 15 years since we moved in to this, our first home, and it’s just  way past time.  WAY past time.  Oh we’ve good-willed things over the years, had garage sales, and ditched a ton of stuff via hand me downs to friends…  but the reality is, we just have too much stuff.  It is neat – but I am tired of being weighed down by stuff.

So in an attempt at sanity, I will not only try to forget for a while why I am fitting a whole summer of de-cluttering into a couple weeks, I will actually do it.  My recovering self with be so pleased with this me of today.  I will say to myself over and over, thank you, for getting that blasted thing off my To-do list early.

So even though things didn’t go according to MY plan, I am excited to know that it will get done,and I will enjoy it all summer long.  🙂

I know that a clean house before surgery is NOT a big deal, nor is it anything more than busy work and distraction.  But I am coming to realize that sometimes it’s okay to just live in the moment.  Give your mind something else to chew on.  It’s not denial – it’s just not focusing every waking moment on what looms ahead.

But the looming is dead ahead of me.  The shadow of it is nearly here…

Keep up to date with what’s going on at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/christicampbell/guestbook


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