With a seriousness, he asked, “Do you want me to go with you? I wanted to say no, that it was okay and I could go by myself. But I didn’t want to. I wanted him to come. I was nervous and tired, and my head was killing me. Just knowing he was going settled my stomach and calmed my jittery insides. There was no reason to be nervous, and I wasnt really. It’s just that these things make me crazy and the last two weeks have been living hell for me… though I’d tried to make is seem as normal around here as I could. I’ve missed a crazy amount of work, and NOTHING is normal about that.
He smiled at me sweetly and went to change clothes. And change gears. He’d just walked in the door from work, and though it was only 7:30 in the morning, it was more like night time to him. Normally he goes to bed right about now, to sleep till the kids come home, so he’s fresh and ready for all the “guess what’s” the kids ramble on about when they rush in the door, the homework-hamster-wheel, dinner, playtime, and bedtime routines. Instead, he offered to do part of my day with me.
He’d already done this once this week by coming to my job in the morning and helping me so I didn’t have to cancel. I dont know what I would have done without him. He’s been my hero over and over this week… in big and small ways too numerous to count.
The last two weeks have been torture. I’ve had 4 migraines in 10 days, and constant headache activity in between. I have acquired the ability to function through intense headaches by sheer necessity, being plagued with them since age 14. So there were several days where I fit in things that I needed to do and was able to probably appear normal. When i would come home, I would crawl into bed and try to survive the backlash of doing so, knowing if a migraine hit in full force I wouldn’t be leaving bed for possibly days.
There are miniature heros in training here in our house too. Our children have grown up with a mom who’s dealt with migraines that are often uncontrolled and they know what to do when they hit. They are amazing kids. One of the extra things they do whenever I get sick with them is to clean. God love them! They love to make me happy when i finally embark upon LIFE again. When i walk into the room their smiles are radiant. They are proud of how they tried to help out when they couldnt help take the pain away.
“Ready?” He held the door open for me and we walked outside. The sun was radiant today.
I was ready. I was ready to end these blasted life-stealing episodes. So we went to the doctor again.
I walked away with hope, new meds to try, and a referral to a specialist. God is already walking before me and has answers waiting.
I hope my husband has at least a tiny idea of how much I needed his strength today, and how grateful I am that he let’s me draw on it and lean on him in ways that seem so insignificant. I am so blessed, in so many ways.
Keep up to date with what’s going on with surgery and recovery: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/christicampbell