Tonight I was not feeling funny, silly, happy, or goofy. I was not feeling like being a mom, frankly, and it was a task that was daunting, if i am to be quite honest. I was feeling more like a raging pirate, ready to plunder than a sweet mother with open arms, kisses, and hugs. Why? Ah, well, lots of reasons. All boring and none of which is the point. So lets just skip that and move ahead…
The kids were rowdy and loud. They were hyper and somewhat obnoxious. I am sensing you get the general picture. Nutshell, it was mass chaos and i was loosing it fast. I wanted to run out the front door and just keep going but there was this nagging sense of grownup-ness in me that forbade it. Bedtime was just around the corner. Okay, maybe I would make it after all…
No one was listening however, no teeth were getting brushed, and no Jammies were getting put on. The danger light was flashing and the warning siren that declared Mom in a full state of emergency was just a few seconds from blowing.
Then it happened. Instead of screaming at the top of my lungs, out popped a gruff and authoritative pirate voice. It warned the scally wags living in my household that if their teeth not be brushed by the strike of three, they would be strung up by the toes and tortured unmercifully by way of tickle torture – the most feared of all torture methods. Peels of laughter ensued as i stomped after them, sending them scurrying to do my bidding. I chased them into bed, with a full on british-pirate-and-tad-shrek-like booming. When they were fully in bed, happily i might add, my daughter said to me, “say Kitty Kat”, and the fulfilled request started a round of shrieking laughter that was nearly uncontainable.
I fear that the pirate wench of tonight may become a much requested night time visitor. And you want to know a secret? It will be a welcome one by me as well. I got to “rage” and holler at them to get in bed and it delighted them beyond words. When can a parent say that yelling at their kids was a joy for them? HA!
I have no idea what possessed me to go into pirate mode other than desperation tonight, but maybe you should try it too. Change things up a bit, lighten the mood. They are only young once and odd as it seems, this will be what sticks with them long after they have grown up.
Now, “Get thee to BED!”