the day begins

The alarm annoyingly began to chirp at 5:45 and without even thinking i snoozed it in my sleep. One small part of my brain was slightly awake, the rest of me was dead as a door nail. There was a time I was a morning person, but those days are long since gone from my life. In general I am a nice person before coffee, mainly since i don’t drink it. But I don’t bound out of bed and have a smile plastered on my face. Chipper is no longer in my vocabulary if it comes before 8 am.

Today i found myself pushing snooze again five minutes later and i was no more awake than the last time. I am consciously awake, but as for actually moving my feet and placing one before the other, yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen any time soon. The kids’ alarm clock went off and i was grateful i had made that $7 investment. I could get in their “first” wake up call without actually getting out of my comfy bed.

The sun was up and doing it’s wonderful job and i found that a small reason to smile. It wasn’t raining for the second day in a row and that alone was enough reason to get out of bed today. I struggled to sit up and felt like a MAC truck had hit me. This is the effect of not being on the meds i should be on. I have not returned to the doc to do the battery of testing it takes to figure out a new medicine regime for my thyroid. I know i need to do it, but i keep hoping Derek will luck his way into a job off of one of the interviews he as and maybe it will be covered vs a full pocket expense. I hate full price medical treatment. The meds i was on stopped being made, and there was not another one they just flip you into. I had to return to figure it out. So the main side effect of not having them is this foggy, inability to wake in the morning. It sorta feels like a hangover. I’ve actually only had one of those in my life, and it wasn’t a bad one, but this is what i imagine it would feel like if it was a worse one. A scorcher of a headache for the first two hours upon waking, foggy, and irritable. Yeah, time to suck it up and get that appointment made, I know.

The kids are off to the bus and all three climbed willingly into the car, mostly. It was not one of our worst mornings, so i am celebrating with a cup of tea and rattling off thoughts no one much will care about to read. Lucky you – I am writing for me and you got stuck reading it. Sorry about that. I plan to write random thoughts in this blog. All just reality based, and some even boring… but all of it true to life. Just a warning! It is all part of looking behind the mask. And guess what? Daily life is boring much of the time. But capturing reality is what it’s all about. It’s real, it’s life, it’s mine.

Now i have to haul myself to a cleaning job today, get around to a baking frenzy for a party i am helping host tonight – so i need to make cookies, brownies, and some rice crispy squares. I have to make more than what i need to take because i bake so infrequently that the kids will go crazy if they don’t get some of these delish yummies. ( I don’t bake so i don’t eat it. I have zero will power and if it isn’t here, i obviously can’t eat it. )

Today’s devotional message: Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Sometimes i find it funny how my message comes at odds with my day. Be still, and my day is run around crazy. So for now, I am gonna go take some time with my hot tea, that i am rewarming for the 3rd time, and just go be still. I will spend some time with Him before I begin the day so that my perspective and motives are clear.



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