Where I am…


I woke to this song on my lips two days in a row.  I lay in bed, the pressure fronts moving in and having their way with me, and instead of going numb and wanting to escape, I said “Thanks”.

No – I never really said the word… I’ll fess up.  But for once i didn’t shrink from where I was, wish it gone, and instead I let the words dance on my lips and move across my heart.  I lay still and let warmth wash over me deep in my soul.

I’ve been in a very quiet and alone place – one where I’ve allowed no one to go.  It’s funny because I dont want to be alone, and I dont want to be there.  Dont ask me to explain it.  But God knew my hidding place… and He waited for me.  He sat down just outside the door and settled in for the duration of my ‘need for space’.

I have no idea what He has planned for me… but I know He can use everything.  So here is my heart open wide – all I desire is that this journey be for a purpose, even if it just be to draw me closer to Himself.

With thunder shaking the very floor beneath my feet and the windows ever so slightly rattling in their frames, I let the song play along with God’s presence.  The result at 11:30 pm is beyond striking.  It’s overwhelming.

I fall into your arms, Jesus.  Make me alive.

(Here are the words and song sung and written better than I could ever do.  I am so grateful for musicians who minister through music.  My heart is so much lighter.)

MERCYME – The Hurt & The Healer lyrics

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remainsSo here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my sufferingI’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide [x2]

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here

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